What does it mean to walk among skeletons? To wander around the hollow remains of what was life. These figures fossilize moments deemed essential to our very being. Though how do we decide what is worthy of preservation? How can we boil down all the moments of our life to one singular thing through the process of environmental pressure. Radiolaria are oceanic microorganisms with intricately designed skeletons that speak to the labor of their creation. Their short life span alludes to the rapid momentum environmental changes. Scientists use their skeletons to date specific time periods as their bodies are the sum of their environment around them. Their skeletons speak to how their creation was directly influenced by the environment and thus represent how we as humans do the same both physically and metaphorically. Even after death leaving a mark behind proves to the world that they did once exist.
In life we are constantly finding and reforming who we are, often looking toward our origins to decide what to embrace and what is meant to be left in the past despite conforming pressure from our environments. I started my life having to quickly go through this process as I was lost after being given to a world that could have been so cruel to someone so fragile. Born into an environment that prioritizes industry and male bodies over my own, already dismissing me from the narrative before I was born, all in the name of the One Child Policy. I was lucky enough to be adopted into a family that so desperately wanted to show love to a child and was able to give me a space to learn and grow. Yet even with all that I was and am still lost. Wondering what mark I can leave on the history of China, as someone who is an outsider to the country I came from. Fearing that I will both leave too much and not enough of a mark. Thinking about what parts of my own history will be preserved when I am gone and only my skeleton remains.
